Sovereign + Santa (How to not lose your sh*t over the Holidays)
"They all want to go crazy with cocktails! It's fine but they're just so expensive and have so much sugar!!"
....I was chatting with a member today at Pure Health Clubs whilst I was there teaching my regular Morph/Sculpt combo.
Before my last class we were discussing (and complaining) in a group about how crazy the spending gets at Christmas... as well as the eating!
The gorgeous lady who mentioned her family's desire to cocktail-up their Chrissy celebrations was a glowing mum-to-be... so had an "acceptable" excuse to not partake.
This got me thinking.
How often do we believe we need an "acceptable reason" to not go along with the group?
Whether that's your family, friends or larger social circles.
How often are we seeking approval to allow ourselves to choose differently from the majority opinion... to choose non-compliance?
How often do we simply NOT choose our true preference or desires because we believe it will be met with unhappy resistance or be the unpopular choice.
As a human potential coach I understand it.
We want to belong. It's one of our core needs as human beings
But at what cost?
Let's unpack this for a second:
If choosing you and your approval has me abandoning myself (and my true desires)...
I'll still feel lonely. And, likely angry... Either at myself or you.
This is where healthy boundaries are needed.
But, what no one tells you is...
to uphold healthy boundaries:
you need to first know what you really want,
and be willing to advocate for it.
This is Self Sovereignty.
In 2018 I got a very clear download that self love was not what we needed more of
It was Sovereignty.
For those not aware, Self Sovereignty is the authority of a person to govern themselves with supreme power and authority.
To maintain self-agency. The right to your free-will. To your own choices.
The majority of the western world we are all born with that birthright, yet most of us fail to activate and apply it.
Most of us people-please and defer to "others" constantly.
Drinking another glass of wine when you don't want to - to stay in flow with a friend at a party.
Saying yes to cake (to be "polite") that you don't want to eat because the wheat and dairy will give you tummy pains, gas or worse!!
Spending more than is necessary (or than you can afford!) on gifts to keep up with the expected amount anticipated by family members.
Eeeeeenough already!
Instead of giving away your power to stories like these:
"That's how it's always been done"
"It's just how we do Christmas"
"I don't want to rock the boat, I'll just keep the peace"
Decide how you want to do the festive season this year and be a stand for your wants and needs.
Whilst also respecting the right of everyone else to be a stand for theirs.
True connection doesn't come from sameness.
It comes from acceptance and authentically seeing one another.
You and only you need to be happy with (and approve of) your choices.
Cultivating approval within ourselves builds far greater safety...
and ironically far stronger and more genuine connections with others.
Because the "real you" is being heard and seen...and honoured by you.
When you really master the art of embodying & expressing self sovereignty...
it's the greatest gift you'll ever receive (and give to the world).
Even better than the ones Santa brings ;-).
Wishing you and yours the Happiest of Holidays full of love and laughter!
Big loves,
Marina. xox